Your "Last Wishes"

Well now what is this? Its what you want to happen or take place when you die.
Its very important that the ones nearest to you in your life now, know what it is that
you wish to take place upon your death. Do not only tell one or two, especially at different times, and not together when you tell them.
Write it down and put with your very important papers, like your insurance policy.
If you do not have one of them, Buy some insurance, for gods sake.
or your car titles or house deed, or in your safety deposit box at the bank.
and tell all of your loved ones, that you did this and where it may be found.

Like your belongings. You know special Furniture, Jewelry, Clothing, Pets, Children,
Guns, Antiques, all those special things that will be argued over when you die.
One good way I heard of lately, is to; use masking tape, write their names on the tape and stick it to the item, underneith so then it is done and they cannot argue with your choice when they see it. lol

Now don't act like your family, ( children, siblings, any relatives won't argue.
Hell, its what will happen, so don't think you can Deni it and it won't happen.
Just accept it and deal with it before you die and it won't happen.
That's the only way to prevent them from arguing and creating maybe years of
more sadness

You see at the time of losing a loved one, we all go through three or four things.
Maybe not in exact order. But we all go through the same things.

SADNESS, of course, but soon follows or is preceded by ANGER.
So don't make your family take out their anger on each other because you were so
smug and assured that they won't.

Maybe not in this exact order, but all need to be addressed.

1-The Funeral Home you want your body to go to.

2-Your time of day for your funeral, burial.

3-The clothes you want or wish to be dressed in. Remember, they will split the back all the way down so they can get the item on your body, as you are not very limber at this point.

4-List your important belongings, and then list who you want to receive them when you die.

5-List all and any insurance policies and their locations.

6-List your assets and who gets what and how much.

Its not important to tell them why you made these choices.

7-How do you want to be buried or interred. ( Ground, Mausoleum, Cremated.)

8-If your choice is Cremation; You should but not required, write a separate letter, stating your choice of cremation and why. Have it witnessed.

9-Do you want your organs donated? You need to write a separate letter stating this, and have it witnessed also.

10-Do you want to be kept alive with machines? If not, You need to write another letter stating that you do not want to be, or resuscitated if you die. Don't forget to have it witnessed.

11-How much or how little do you want spent on your going away party?
Many loved ones you leave behind, think they are spending for you as if you can see them spend it. And they are urged by the funeral directors to spend more, as in saying; " Don't you think he/she, deserves this one, or would want this one."
So put a limit on it, so they won't think they are penny pinching your wishes.

If I have left anything out that you may think of as important to you or for you,
please feel free to include it in your LAST WISHES LETTER AND LIST.

Thank you for those nice comments and emails. keep them comming.

My next post will be on: FUNERALS; Pampas or Not?

Burial Vaults, THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER

Well the real purpose of burial vaults, started out by being for the peace of mind of the survivors that nothing would be able to get into mamas casket as she was laying under ground.



But as time went by and the local governments IE. local Health Departments' got involved in all burials or interments.

This was some time in the late 1950's or early 1960's. It was decided that not only keeping things out. The vault should also keep all things inside it as well.



You see when we die. Not all of our parts stops with us. Hair and fingernails have been known to keep growing for weeks, living off the left over protein in our bodies.

So it would seem that with all the new and nasty diseases in some of our bodies when we do pass, Like HIV, AIDS and many others, its safer if these types of things stay with the body and not mix in the soil and later into the drinking water supplies of the community.



This said, most local communities require by law that you use an approved burial vault to place in the grave for the casket to rest inside, after its sealed.



Most are guarantied for 50 or more years, but who can tell how long they last. I will tell you the answer to this. The cemetery workers that open all the graves for an interments.

All cemeteries are laid out much the same and its by the inch and not feet or acres of measurement.

Graves are in nearly all cases 42 inches by 108 inches or 9 feet long. and they touch the next grave over with only one to two inches between them.

Now as u dig a new grave next to an occupied grave the dirt does not just stand there, its falls down into the new grave as u dig it.

Thus exposing the vault or casket if the case exist. So these people see at least one side at a time as they open new graves for each new interment.

They can tell if they are cracked or rotting or what ever at that time and eventually opening all four sides for new interments they will see the whole vault. At least all four sides.



Now they manufacture all styles and types of burial vaults. From all sorts of materials.

From Steel to Stainless Steel, to Iron, to Copper, to Cement.

Most are top sealers with a heavy lid that covers the top of the vault opening with a sort of tongue and groove sealing method, with of course some sealer compound also.



There is another one called the bell type, that is a flat bottom the casket rest on and the top is bell shaped and is lowered down to cover the casket and seal with the bottom. The bell top is very heavy also.



The steel and copper ones are your highest costing and do no more or last no longer than the Cement ones that you can buy for much much less.



Cement vaults are usually lined with a coating much like rubber to keep them water tight, both from the outside in and the inside out.



You can buy these cement vaults at the cemetery of your choice for Pre-need or at the time of the need.

or you can buy them at a much higher cost from the funeral home you are using at the time of need. or on a pre-need basis.



Cement vaults average out at $700.00, from the cemetery you may use for the burial.

To around $2,500.00 at the funeral home you may use.

And there is really no discernible difference in them.



The steel vaults run much much more and usually are only available from a funeral home.

They can cost you as much as $7,000.00 and more, each. WHY??



Just another rip off of the funeral home industry. They do not pay nearly that much for them at their cost. But they sell them to you as if there is no better way to protect your loved one.

WOW.

When you are already down to your lowest. They can hit you really hard, while trying to seem really caring and humble.



It seems to me that after all this time of lieing and cheating us they can do much better for us when we seem to need them the most.



So do not delay making all your arrangements in advance at the funeral home of your choice.

And you can shop around for the best deals and services.



After all it is Only Money. Your Money. Take the time to spend it wisely



Thanks for stopping by. Don't forget to leave your comments for me. I will try to answer all of them. And you can email me also.



Just trying to raise your awareness of all this since its been kept from you for all these years by the funeral home associations nation wide.

Today, lets talk about BURIAL CASKETS

Burial Caskets: Now lets see if you can remember the casket style, color, design or anything about it from the last funeral you attended. Unless you picked it out and paid for it.

I don't think you can remember even the color!

So why do we think we need or have to spend so much money on them for Aunt Mary? or Grandma Freda?

FACT: The U.S. Agricultural Department, regulates all manufactors of Caskets, for the use of Human Remains Burial. YES, each and ever casket built and used in the USA, and most of Europe are exactly the SAME.

MEANING: They all do the same thing. No More, No Less. Oh yes the materials used to cover the undercarrage or frame differs from Plastic to Fiberglass, to Copper, to almost anything you can imagine.

POINT: Since they all do the same thing and they are all unremarkable one week after the services are over. You can buy the cheapest one offered by the seller, usually a funeral home.

But some Cemeteries are now offering Caskets for sale with all your needs and services there.



They all have a liner of some sort and a frame spring mattress for the body to rest on above the bottom of the casket.

Some only have one door for the lid, but all have gaskets and most lock. And they all go in the grave inside a burial Vault. So nothing gets out into our drinking water.

Oh yes and I would reccommend you buy this Vault at the cemetery you will be using also.

Its much cheaper there and its the same thing. Again all these have to meet the same requirements.



Nearly all funerals nowadays the casket is covered with alot of flowers, they call that a spray.

from top to bottom, so you cannot even see the casket.

At military funerals the Flag covers the whole casket.

And incidentaly, all military funerals use the cheapest casket for the Veteran! Its made of thin pressed wood and cardboard with a paper covering. WOW

Who Knew??

Like it or not! These are the real facts. Write me with your own horror stories about funeral homes.



Thanks for reading, today.

The Need For Funeral Homes, Lets be HONEST

Now, as we are not superman, We all know we are going to die. Its not IF, But WHEN. Its been said "that the reverse side of your birth certificate is your Death certificate!'' When a death occurs in a family there is much to be done. Many of the grieving family members are just not capable of making all the arrangements necessary and are virtually paralyzed by grief. There is so much to know about funeral arrangements and the average person has no idea what all is involved. Just, remember! You don't have to do or buy anything you don't want to!
You are involved in a very costly undertaking, just as if you are buying a new automobile.
BUT, UNDER MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL STRAIN !

There are state and federal laws that govern exactly what is legally allowable in the process of the funeral and subsequent burial or cremation. Funeral Directors are licensed by the state they operate in, To Embalm the body and Sell some items you will need. Are knowledgeable about the process and Laws, As its their business. Trained to be Humble and Emotional. They are experienced in the area of funeral services and merchandise and have you at their mercy during your time of NEED, seeming to make the situation as easy as possible for those who may have never had to deal with it before. So, ASK QUESTIONS, SEEK A SECOND OPPINION, one more day won't make any real difference for you to be sure of your decision.

They will guide you through the process of funeral arrangements from service to burial. But just because Grandma, and Grandpa were burried by them does not mean you have to keep feeding their money pit. They will also help you compose an obituary or even write one for you for a price, if you supply the information. The job of the funeral home and it's employees is to help the family handle one of life’s most devastating experiences. Yes, but at a very over charged price, in your time of need. There are more than 100 decisions that must be made in a very short amount of time. Even if your loved one had pre-planned for funeral arrangements, there is still much left to be done once the event has actually occurred. But read all your loved one wanted or wrote before they died to be sure its what they wanted! So check into it now as you still have each other to talk with about it, before its too late and one of you must decide on it all " Alone".

It is highly recommended that one make arrangements before the inevitable. Having all your plans in place and knowing how you would like to have your own funeral handled and by which funeral home is very important. A funeral home is well equipped to help with this planning..Yes and its at a high price also. But its much less than waiting until its needed tomorrow.

It is important to feel comfortable with the home you choose to work with whether you are pre-planning or making arrangements after the fact. Better homes will even offer support groups and after care materials to aid the family's grieving process. And again, this is a high price item as well.
My main complaint of funeral homes is their way over priced services and merchandise.
No other business would be allowed to exist or stay in business with these high prices for almost nothing. So why do we allow them to keep gouging us for our money at our most gulable time in our lives. The death of our loved ones?